updates:

Sunday, August 19, 2007 11:47 AM

naughtily nautical novelties

ideas are very powerful. a good enough idea can stop a charging rhino. also understand that a lot of sort of good little ideas (like beer koozies shaped like shapely bikini-clad womens torsos) could probably do the trick. do not go on safari armed with only beer koozies shaped like shapely bikini-clad women's torsos! going on safari is only a good idea if you enjoy killing majestic and endangered animal friends for fun, dorkshit. air conditioning is kind of a good idea when it's hot outside, but remember that the men who wrote the constitution didn't have air conditioning or beer koozies shaped like shapely bikini-clad women's torsos but they still had plenty of good ideas. franklin could have done very well for himself in the marine-themed novelty consumer goods business, but did wear his hair in a bald mullet, which could make it difficult to find models for beer koozies shaped like shapely bikini-clad women's torsos, although sociological observation on the gulf coast makes me wonder. makes me wonder a lot of things, actually. which one of these guys invented the beer koozie shaped like a personal floatation device? how come no one has invented the beer koozie shaped like a shapely female torso in a bikini? who let the rhino-dogs out? how does one go about producing a beer koozie in the shape of a shapely woman in a bikini (just the torso) for sale in marine-themed novelty consumer goods stores? what would something like that command, price-wise, in the current marine-themed novelty consumer goods market? is "price-wise" hyphenated? what sort of nautical novelties are the bald-mulleted, rhino-hunting, air-conditioned public looking for? do you think "BeerKoozeKini" is a good name, or does it sound too much like a drink?

BeerKoozeKini (Eastpoint version)
12oz beer
1oz Fruity Something
Serve in a chilled beer koozie with something plugging the hole in the bottom over crushed ice

a lot of drinks down here call for Fruity Something. it was invented by john gorrie after he retired off the proceeds from inventing air conditioning. dunno who invented Somekinda Nanner or Coconutish Stuff, but you see a lot of that, too. I don't like those sugary-cocktails like Nautical Syrup, Fun Dip, Wet Sand and That Kind Of Shit.

That Kind Of Shit (original Jeepland version)
1oz vodka
1oz creme de sugar
1 pixie stick (yellow)
1 oz of that fake juice shit that comes in a little plastic jug (blue)
serve pousse cafe style. some versions use melted popice instead of the fake juice shit that comes in a little plastic jug.

those things sneak up on you, man. sneak up like a charging rhino. do not go on safari while intoxicated. SWI is never a good idea.*

*paid for by ponder for america, animal friends of not safari-ing while intoxicated or at all (AFONSWIOAA), the marine novelty council in conjunction with nautical societies for women (NSFW) and the john gorrie foundation

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