updates:

Thursday, November 20, 2008 10:06 AM

i don't have much time b/c i'm really really hungry.

a crazy guy drove a semi into the bank downstairs. the girls & i got woken up by deputies beating on our door. no damage to our apartment or any of our stuff. so that happened.

i went to new york to visit those guys. we had a really great time, i took a few pictures on touch push, but i have to keep him away from my laptop or i'll lose everybody's phone numbers again.

i went to london to visit emily. we went to parliment, we saw the new james bond movie (i fell asleep, but have since seen it again w/ dad and stayed awake and it was really good), we ate amazing curry and made dinner at the marder's apartment and it was awesome. we saw a concert at the dublin castle in camden, and all the bands pretty much sucked except for "the soviets" from scotland.
emily took the pictures b/c she's got the skills in that department. she's sending them to me. you'll see them soon.

i'm sorry to have to cut this extremely important post short, but i have to drive to st george isalnd to get chicken wings.

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Sunday, November 16, 2008 9:26 AM



sitckerguy's bush gallery

i've got good news, crazy news, bad news, funny news and regular news. what do you want first?

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Friday, November 07, 2008 11:40 PM

no sleep til brooklyn

i really am going to sleep, though. i promise. as soon as this is over.

so, how's everybody? let's see...been kind of a slow news week. not much really going on. i've had a fairly uneventful few days. yesterday i worked, hung out. wednesday i worked. tuesday i scrambled all over apalachicola leaving door hangers on doors and dropping off waters and obama signs and stickers and trying to see if franklin county is really as red as everybody says. it is. good news, though, is that Barack Obama is our new president. Carol Browner is on his transition team. i babysat for her son one time.

i started my webpage seven some odd years ago (if you can find the archives from the old pitas.com page, that would be a trip). I renamed it ponder for america about 5 years ago when i endorsed Howard Dean for president. the only time i have ever censored myself was when it was suggested i not publish my "Charlie Crist: Openly governor" post. Ponder for America looks forward to maintaining a rambling, slack and nonsensical eye on politics during the Barack Obama presidency. just because i think the guy is completely awesome does not mean i will not post funny pictures of him should any ever be taken.

at home, the election news was not celebrated in the manner that many of you would probably imagine. as it turns out, Allison isn't much of an Obama fan. so i pretty much have left the whole subject alone. until now...

James Ponder's Celebratory World Tour!

we're getting out of the "real" America and heading to the elite apple, New York City! one day is plenty of time to eat all the stuff i want to eat, meet all the peeps i want to meet and rep karaoke so you know i'm street! no time to waste; the mothership is calling...

JPCWT Pt. II!

I like to listen to music from all over the world, especially the UK b/c it's really good and it's in english. therefore i'm making my pilgrimage to London, and the best part is i have a slightly-native guide. my sister, Emily! she's going to show me where they punish the ax-murderers and how to eat food in GMT. we also get to ride a serpent through the chunnel and visit Paris, France! i think that should finally drive all the right-wingers away from my webpage. as if any of my 3 readers could be described as right-wing. right-honourable, maybe. or maybe hot-wing. i wonder if they eat chicken wings in london. they don't eat them in italy. i eat them here, though.

well, long story short, Barack Obama is the new president. p4usa has never ended a blog post that way. i'll have to do it more often. it will be accurate for another four years. by then i will have figured out web 2.0

Barack Obama is the new president.

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Friday, October 31, 2008 9:23 AM

governor sarah palin was a much hotter date than doctor jill biden. maybe she just liked my fancy coveralls. i like them a lot. plenty of pockets for pocketry, good warmth for wintertime. don't be surprised if you see me wearing them around.
and now begins the seafood festival. i have low expectations for food/carnival ride quality, but i'm ready to be pleasantly surprised.
anyhoo, i'll probably need a nap before chasing jazilla & nate around.

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Sunday, October 05, 2008 6:40 PM

elliott for the peeps

adriane has started a blog o'er on blogspot and she has some breaking news: Jazilla!

happy birthday to emily! there is some fun stuff coming by diplomatic pouch in about a month.

sorry i missed you on your tally visit, paul, but we'll hang up in nyc!

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Monday, September 15, 2008 2:10 PM

erik is staying on top of stuff for us. i can't wait to see his command center in NYC!

so i haven't updated in a while, but it's not your fault. we just run in differnet circles (like facebook/myspace/twitter/whatevercrazyshitmeadowslingisonaboutthisweek) and i'm kind of busy trying to figure out my new phone, Touch Push. which reminds me, everybody has to call me so i have your phone numbers, and you want me to have your phone numbers.

the official date for the wedding is Feb 28, 2009. i have been entertaining myself looking at cool party favor type stuff to have at the reception, and i think you will all enjoy. but this is the deal, i need you guys to generate some cool graphic design-y like logo looking thing to print on the stuff. otherwise it's just going to say "Allison & James" in some lame font like Curlz MT. i know you all have photoshop, so make something that will look good on a cocktail napkin.

it's going to be so much fun hanging out with you guys. i never see you guys anymore. and i think it's giving me a headache. also, i drink to much soda water, according to the health food lady. she has me taking these vitamin b12 "sublinguals" because carbonation is bad in the massive quantities i slurp it. plus, this time of year i'm supposed to get massive doses of vitamin FSU, but it looks as if even my long lost non-relative Christian has decided to phone this year in. watch this youtube video, current seminoles, this is what i would like to see, if it's not to much trouble:
Charlie Ward treats miami the way they deserve to be treated

anyways, it's a good thing i have celestial seasonings tension tamer tea to help me pass out at night.

please notice that the picture on the box is a lady riding a dragon. the tea has catnip in it, and it makes me get all blissed out and sleepy, no lie. i call it "chasing the dragon."

i'm serious about the photoshop competition. i'm not expecting anything as amazing as the obama O, but somebody please make something really cool. matt, mama gramling, paul, kathe i am looking in your direction. if you still read my webpage, that is

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Saturday, June 21, 2008 12:53 PM

the day the music melted

lightning struck my house this morning. i was dogsitting @ QS96's house, so me and the laptop and the saturn were no where near the ensuing blaze. grayson is out of town at press time i have yet to speak to him, but his boat was on st george so it's safe, and his car is okay, too. clifford was next door asleep, the cops woke him up and he's fine. his side of the house didn't look too bad. he seemed pretty depressed. i can't imagine grayson being very excited about the situation, either. sadly, we lost odin the cat, and clifford's other dog (not the fluffy one, PJ. PJ is OK).

my neighbor erin and i peeked inside briefly and it looks like there might be more salvageable stuff than you'd think from looking at the outside. firedudeman says most of my cds probably melted, and that any clothes that made it will smell like smoke forever. my obama poster is fine.

grayson's sister shelley handles the business end of stuff, and she says insurance is paid up, so thank goodness for that. my bumblingly optimistic ass can't shake the sensation that this could work out for everybody. can't shake it like a soda. i just realized i didn't even look in the fridge. i think there's like a case of beer in there and the rest of the pancetta i made and a fresh pack of those little charcoal steaks i like for ropa vieja. damn. i should run over and get those. oh snap and i just loaded up on pizza and ice cream sandwiches!

i'm going to go see if the ice cream sandwiches melted or not. then i guess i have to do all my laundry again.

thanks to all the twitter people that hollered at me, and to the entire town of apalachicola for helping out and offering me clothes and standing around while i talked to the firedudemenandwomen in my pyjamas.

and congrats to the franklin county all stars on their big win today!

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Saturday, May 17, 2008 1:23 AM

there will be Jasmine




guest post from AEII:

"capitol l o l! it was a lot easier taking the pictures than making the slide show ;)"

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Tuesday, April 15, 2008 12:10 AM

jibberish/my karma has avenged someone

clip of tom jones and janis joplin singing a song that is apparently called "raise your hand." i would like to thank tamara for posting this on my facebook funwall, and i would have forwarded it to everyone, but then i decided to post it here, where 3 people will see it.


points of interest:
0:27 - 0:39 "no no nole / you better gift up, of the donut from the stand/ and raze old man/ fuckin rae-yay-lay o raerm may urn (back spasm)"

1:33 janis screeches and tom jones retaliates with an equally crazy screech, at which point the people sitting on the ground doing lemaze get up and begin to convulse

1:50 someone whistles and both tom and janis look around to see who it was and where they are

2:20 janis attempts to 'back it up' on tom jones while he gracefully executes the 'matador on ecstasy.' at this point they start looping the footage, presumably because the rest of the dancing was too lewdly retarded

3:00 during the call and response segment, tom tells janis he'd like to bake a pizza on her


and just so we're clear, i hold both these performers in very high esteem. i also think sometimes it's really hard to understand them.

meanwhile, mattman got married, which is way awesome. if i knew where there were pictures i would post the link. i was late, but i did have to drive through four counties to get there. long time readers will be happy to know that the round trip was completed without incident. i am now back in franklin county, searching for the person who scratched my car while mattman enjoys wedded bliss. this is because mattman is a very good person, i am kind of an asshole, and all of us live in a just and fair world. that includes you, car-scratcher. i look forward to falsifying your sense of security somehow.

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Monday, March 31, 2008 12:39 AM

David L
I made some noodles for an interesting man today. i will now tell you about him and reprint the poem he wrote for the restaurant.

His name is David L Young, and he does not want to be confused with David Young, but he does give props. David L is roaming around in a Chrysler Crossfire, license plate: POETS

3 out of 3 staff members said he looked like Benjamin Franklin. He was not wearing his Benjamin Franklin costume when he came in to Tamara's with his portable poetry machine/laptop. This means he either IS Benjamin Franklin or he SHOULD BE Benjamin Franklin FOR HALLOWEEN (or always). I couldn't tell if the glasses he was wearing were bifocals. I assume they were.

Tamara’s Café Apalachicola Sunday
Sunday social casual get together.
Apalachicola laid back easy lifestyles,
Small town fishing tall tales lines,
Artmosphere magical charm interaction.
Front door sticky latch first impression
Hanging patio green umbrella ceiling
Cozy setting enjoying tasty meal ‘n coffee
Hidden treasures in Forgotten Coast sensations.
David L. Young 03/30/08©
De-Terminated poet, somewhere in America not on company time
The "somewhere in America not on company time" part is mysterious to me. Is that so his boss doesn't get mad and demand the laptop back? Because his boss needs to not send David L to impersonate Benjamin Franklin on the weekend.

James H Ponder 03/30/08©
Be-Fuddled reader, on the computer on eastern standard time

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Monday, January 28, 2008 10:51 PM

thanks to everyone who helped me come up with valentine's meal ideas.
apparently my blood type is in low supply, so the blood bank (not vampires pretending to be, i hope) called and asked me for more back on voting day. i was going to write you guys about it at the time, but i didn't.

speaking of voting day, it occurs to me that i have not officially endorsed a candidate for president. which is probably a good thing b/c i have a bad track record of jynxing presidential candidates. anyways, i'm not voting for or googling Ron Paul, so you pick whoever you think i would vote for and vote for them.

open letter to murder mystery weekend participants:
do not want. my readers know that i love the idea of solving crimes and mysteries, but the stupid costumes and the lame-ity of you guys ruins it for me. you are overgrown drama nerds and i cannot handle you friday night at the Gibson when i'm trying to talk to my friends while you fire cap guns and make stupid. I also can't muster the courage to tell you "Beat it, dork" early on a saturday when i'm at work. so if you see me, know that i do not have your stupid "clue" and i will not call the fire department when your polyester "pimp" hat or priest robes catch fire, because the firemen will know that I set you on fire and i might get in trouble.

open letter to firemen (to balance out the negative one):
thank you for keeping the trucks looking good and running smooth. you will not let me die of fire and that is very good of you. if anything should happen to one of the murder mystery participants, i didn't do it. it was probably one of them. i'd ask around at the downtown restaurants and stores to see if they have any clues.

current mood: lethargic and sweaty. bad combo.

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Thursday, November 15, 2007 12:30 AM

Anxiety Dream

Is it real? "Is it safe?" I mean, the thing is so "on the nose" obvious i'm amazed my subconscious even bothered "bringing it up." Worlds collide! Duh!

Anyways, I fear I may still be leading a charmed life, although I have updated my Facebook status since.

So we're all standing outside the Gibson, of all places, and the Neon pulls up. My old Neon. The Ghost of Autmos Past. Collision! Next stop, my old apartment! I get it, I get it! What's old is new again, the past is the new black (it goes with everything, Duh!)

I've seen the stuffing recipe, and there are oysters but no apples. List 12: Oysters. Obvious. O-words. Obligatory.



and to answer my question, Self;

"No. It's not safe.

Everybody is in on it,

they are waiting to pull the Seafood Queen

and the jet skis

out from underneath you, Me.

I dare Me to get worried about it,

to prove I've still got it in me to 'flip out.'"

And Me (I mean Self); Don't do it.

Uncle.

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Sunday, August 19, 2007 11:47 AM

naughtily nautical novelties

ideas are very powerful. a good enough idea can stop a charging rhino. also understand that a lot of sort of good little ideas (like beer koozies shaped like shapely bikini-clad womens torsos) could probably do the trick. do not go on safari armed with only beer koozies shaped like shapely bikini-clad women's torsos! going on safari is only a good idea if you enjoy killing majestic and endangered animal friends for fun, dorkshit. air conditioning is kind of a good idea when it's hot outside, but remember that the men who wrote the constitution didn't have air conditioning or beer koozies shaped like shapely bikini-clad women's torsos but they still had plenty of good ideas. franklin could have done very well for himself in the marine-themed novelty consumer goods business, but did wear his hair in a bald mullet, which could make it difficult to find models for beer koozies shaped like shapely bikini-clad women's torsos, although sociological observation on the gulf coast makes me wonder. makes me wonder a lot of things, actually. which one of these guys invented the beer koozie shaped like a personal floatation device? how come no one has invented the beer koozie shaped like a shapely female torso in a bikini? who let the rhino-dogs out? how does one go about producing a beer koozie in the shape of a shapely woman in a bikini (just the torso) for sale in marine-themed novelty consumer goods stores? what would something like that command, price-wise, in the current marine-themed novelty consumer goods market? is "price-wise" hyphenated? what sort of nautical novelties are the bald-mulleted, rhino-hunting, air-conditioned public looking for? do you think "BeerKoozeKini" is a good name, or does it sound too much like a drink?

BeerKoozeKini (Eastpoint version)
12oz beer
1oz Fruity Something
Serve in a chilled beer koozie with something plugging the hole in the bottom over crushed ice

a lot of drinks down here call for Fruity Something. it was invented by john gorrie after he retired off the proceeds from inventing air conditioning. dunno who invented Somekinda Nanner or Coconutish Stuff, but you see a lot of that, too. I don't like those sugary-cocktails like Nautical Syrup, Fun Dip, Wet Sand and That Kind Of Shit.

That Kind Of Shit (original Jeepland version)
1oz vodka
1oz creme de sugar
1 pixie stick (yellow)
1 oz of that fake juice shit that comes in a little plastic jug (blue)
serve pousse cafe style. some versions use melted popice instead of the fake juice shit that comes in a little plastic jug.

those things sneak up on you, man. sneak up like a charging rhino. do not go on safari while intoxicated. SWI is never a good idea.*

*paid for by ponder for america, animal friends of not safari-ing while intoxicated or at all (AFONSWIOAA), the marine novelty council in conjunction with nautical societies for women (NSFW) and the john gorrie foundation

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Tuesday, August 14, 2007 3:23 AM

the tomb of the unnamed sock(sp? i mean, sic.)

arlington national laundry room. it's real.

i was invited to an orgy tonight. respectfully declined. my newspaper-man-nose-for-a-story was bout it. croquet at kleeman plaza has taken a bizzare turn. and them sysco girls are just as crazy as i always thought. "James, dude! DoubleYouTeeEff?!" Me: No dudes, it's cool. i guess. your shot, Reverend.

word on the street is "who let the dogs out, james?" i would answer that question with a question: Me: why you gotta be bringing up old shit?

fed dinner to the mayor of st. george island last night. i fear i may have over-cooked his excellencie's filet, but what'serface (of the east point Serfaces, old bean) enjoyed her quotation fingers deconstructed fried rice very much. also, i stole a pint glass from blackbeard. now i'm the captain of the bluegrass and i'm turning into a barnacle and the sea goddess is going to turn all the cars into robots and John McLaine(sp?) is too busy saving the world from scary children to stop the evil corporation from enslaving the developing world under the leadership of the liberated Karl Rove! also, it's time for more meteor showers, you know? whatever happened to those?

Detective Scotch Poster is working a new case, faithful. i'm messing with the dj on v89. i told him that we needed massive doses of GBV and some rolling fucking stones, STAT! he thought STAT was a band. but he played three tracks of bee thousand and the live midnight rambler that i like so don't make fun of him b/c he has a dorky voice. i like ian. we're cool. and so are we.

< stillgoofybutserious>i moved my sailboat into a slip. fixed the pump deal. sailor Mike "appreciates shades of brown" and is helping me tellyouwhatdo. in apalach, the weirdos look like zombies and the normal people look like weirdos. on land i have new digs, also. the meth lab got packed up and now i'm in the sea-foam home. can't wait to show you ladies the meteor shower< /sgbs ="kick his ass, sgbs!">

my clothes are clean and almost dry, so i bid you'all a fair good-bye; if ever you wonder where went the hounds, rest assured that blame abounds; for however twas the beasts were released; ask not why, but by whom; and o'er the beats ye shall seek. who who? who? who who?

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Tuesday, July 24, 2007 5:23 PM

Random Jeeps

sorry so sloppy.
long time not much. time for your briefing.

i am writing to you from the arlington national laundry room in beautiful, historic downtown tallahassee (formerly "sunny tallahassee" ain't nothing changed but the name). internet access has been limited these past few months, but enough excuses. you may notice my myspace page has "gone bye bye." i don't "know why," but i'm guessing it's because i'm friends with you sick bastards. maybe it was the roman bathing suit pictures. whatever. i'm still your friend.

i will commute back to bustling apalach(icola) tomorrow. it's my new routine and it's peaches and cream. i sleep in a hammock under a window unit AC and cook and wear Croc Shoes brand croc shoes. loneliness is an issue, but recent advances in cellular phone technology are helping end the suffering. keep those lines ringing. as sifl once said "just yell into your phone and you should get through." in-the-knowers will be glad to hear that Flip Push is back. no phone but a nokia is good enough.

people keep asking me: "how come steven seagal is so popular again?" link
another question i get asked never is "how come you don't cater more norwegian weddings?" i would answer that question with a question. "who let the dogs out?"

attn: movie binge
comments by TravisHunter he's so hot right now.

also, if i ever have a kid, i'm not naming him hunter, miller, fletcher, tanner or trapper because those are last names. like anderson. stay tuned!

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