updates:

Tuesday, April 15, 2008 12:10 AM

jibberish/my karma has avenged someone

clip of tom jones and janis joplin singing a song that is apparently called "raise your hand." i would like to thank tamara for posting this on my facebook funwall, and i would have forwarded it to everyone, but then i decided to post it here, where 3 people will see it.


points of interest:
0:27 - 0:39 "no no nole / you better gift up, of the donut from the stand/ and raze old man/ fuckin rae-yay-lay o raerm may urn (back spasm)"

1:33 janis screeches and tom jones retaliates with an equally crazy screech, at which point the people sitting on the ground doing lemaze get up and begin to convulse

1:50 someone whistles and both tom and janis look around to see who it was and where they are

2:20 janis attempts to 'back it up' on tom jones while he gracefully executes the 'matador on ecstasy.' at this point they start looping the footage, presumably because the rest of the dancing was too lewdly retarded

3:00 during the call and response segment, tom tells janis he'd like to bake a pizza on her


and just so we're clear, i hold both these performers in very high esteem. i also think sometimes it's really hard to understand them.

meanwhile, mattman got married, which is way awesome. if i knew where there were pictures i would post the link. i was late, but i did have to drive through four counties to get there. long time readers will be happy to know that the round trip was completed without incident. i am now back in franklin county, searching for the person who scratched my car while mattman enjoys wedded bliss. this is because mattman is a very good person, i am kind of an asshole, and all of us live in a just and fair world. that includes you, car-scratcher. i look forward to falsifying your sense of security somehow.

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Monday, January 28, 2008 10:51 PM

thanks to everyone who helped me come up with valentine's meal ideas.
apparently my blood type is in low supply, so the blood bank (not vampires pretending to be, i hope) called and asked me for more back on voting day. i was going to write you guys about it at the time, but i didn't.

speaking of voting day, it occurs to me that i have not officially endorsed a candidate for president. which is probably a good thing b/c i have a bad track record of jynxing presidential candidates. anyways, i'm not voting for or googling Ron Paul, so you pick whoever you think i would vote for and vote for them.

open letter to murder mystery weekend participants:
do not want. my readers know that i love the idea of solving crimes and mysteries, but the stupid costumes and the lame-ity of you guys ruins it for me. you are overgrown drama nerds and i cannot handle you friday night at the Gibson when i'm trying to talk to my friends while you fire cap guns and make stupid. I also can't muster the courage to tell you "Beat it, dork" early on a saturday when i'm at work. so if you see me, know that i do not have your stupid "clue" and i will not call the fire department when your polyester "pimp" hat or priest robes catch fire, because the firemen will know that I set you on fire and i might get in trouble.

open letter to firemen (to balance out the negative one):
thank you for keeping the trucks looking good and running smooth. you will not let me die of fire and that is very good of you. if anything should happen to one of the murder mystery participants, i didn't do it. it was probably one of them. i'd ask around at the downtown restaurants and stores to see if they have any clues.

current mood: lethargic and sweaty. bad combo.

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