updates:
Thursday, June 12, 2008 11:05 AMtoday's featured picture on wikipedia
oh snap! yumyum yumyum. "bavarian sweet mustard?" oh my gosh that sounds amazing!
sorry i don't update much anymore. i hope i don't get kicked out of melissa's meeting b/c i only updated twitter like once last month.
i love mustard so much. i was looking at that picture this morning and there was a knock on the door. i put on my bathrobe and opened the door for a nice 40-something church lady who apologized for waking me up. i assured her she hadn't, that i worked nights and that i was already up anyway and was about to tell her i was looking at mustard pictures when i decided she would take that as an invitation to talk more so i kept it to myself. she was nice and let me go after asking me if i thought the bible was useful or outdated. i wanted to quote that mark twain quote but i couldn't think of it and wanted to close the door anyway so i just said "i think the bible is very useful and have a pleasant day, ma'am, thank you for coming over" then i smiled and closed the door.
"It is full of interest. It has noble poetry in it; and some clever fables; and some blood-drenched history; and some good morals; and a wealth of obscenity; and upwards of a thousand lies." -Mark Twain on The Bible
"...a man can't know what turnips are in perfection without mustard." -Mark Twain on mustard
Labels: crazy people, mustard, religion
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Thursday, March 29, 2007 6:26 PM
lovers, haters, love-haters, busters, sweetbacks & philistines
look in the mirror, you're at least one of the above and you're wack. I mean it. take me, for example. to some i'm a buster. harshin gigs and bringin the hammer down on loafing. to a redneck golfer i'm a city-slicking sweetback using big words (some foreign) and not frying troughs of chicken. goliath, a philistine king, thought david was a bad guy. likewise the legions of philistines i sling down on the regular probably think of themselves as the underdog, standing up to the man. james ponder, hater. yes, i'll admit it. if you're shitty i hate you. "why should i change my name? he's the one who sucks!" james ponder. lover. Indubitably. but loving is wack, too. loving puts the pressure on somebody. it's a liability. you love somebody and they are accountable, responsible. nobody wants to be responsible, no matter what they say when they're applying for a job or raise. "i want to take on more responsibility, sir or madam, i'm ready." no, you don't and you're not. and don't call me sir or madam. i have a name.which brings us to love-haters. you're down on love because some slutty elmer gantr-ette dumped you while you were trying to get your life on track. yes, it was selfish of her, and of course you deserve revenge, but don't make a liar out of john lennon. that's what religion is for. that's why the beatles are more famous than jesus christ, because they're righteous. love is the answer, but there are a lot of stupid people out there who don't test well. i may be a buster, a sweetback, a lover and a hater. but i'm no love-hater, and anybody who calls me a philistine will get slung down like the rest of you sweetbacks.
The End (If You Want It!) (link to this post)
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